FORGET RED BULL, TRY BOLIVIA'S NEW ENERGY DRINK - GREEN FROG

November 17, 2013  •  Leave a Comment

 

Frog in a BlenderFrog in a Blender

 

This sadly true story reminds of that old joke: Whats Red and Green and Goes a 100 MPH?

 

We all know the answer.

 

And if you don't, every Thursday and Sunday at the 16 de Julio Mercado in El Alto, Bolivia you can find out. 

 

The market is the craziest "junk" sale in the world and likely the highest sitting at 4100 meters above sea level. Here you can find anything if you dare: rare car parts, piles of clothing (especially really nice & fake 'NORTH FACE" apparel), toys, freaky furniture, and an excellent selection of Commodore Vic 20's. 

 

Look hard enough and you'll find a working Flux Capacitor, though it's likely stolen.

 

The market also offers the cheapest and most revolting food on the planet.

 

Welcome to El Alto, Bolivia where for only 3 Bolivianos (45 cents) you can experience "Jugo de Rana", or  "Juice of Frog" says the convincing Naturista who sells the "miracle drink."

 

"You have to drink this, Doctors cost alot of money!" he screams to the dozens of Indigenous people lined up for a sample.

 

A very pregnant Aymara woman was curious to try, as she sighed "I feel tired" (no wonder you're walking around knocked up at 4100 masl) The frog-killing-purveyor said "drink this, It'll not only be good for you, it'll be good for your baby, he'll come out very intelligent."

 

And maybe with webbed feet.

 

She pinched her nose as she swallowed the putrid liquid. "I don't feel anything." But alas a few minutes later - she was FULL of energy.

 

Full of Sh*t I say.

 

Asked about the flavour the soon-to-be-Mother said "con grumos" or with chunks.

 

I dunno about you but I like my amphibians liquified to perfection.

 

The miracle ingredients: one egg, water, Maca (Peruvian Ginseng more or less) and a live frog or two in a blender. The only thing I would do differently is use TURBOFROG setting on the blender.

 

The Naturista claims it is good for vision, headaches, phenomena, intelligence, menopause and epilepsy, and gives you energy, especially in the sack. The recommended dosage is 2 teaspoons in the morning 2 at night.

 

Hopping away completely satisfied, the frog-gulpers were very convinced that their health had already improved.

 

Like they say in Bolivia "A Rana a day keeps the doctor away."

 

OH Canada, I miss you so.

 

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